THE Visit

Each visit that Jake has had home since June of 2010 has been filled with great excitement and anticipation.  THIS visit comes with excitement, anticipation, and a whole bunch of underlying feelings.  The joy of having him home seems to be sharing the spotlight with the buried feelings of worry and dread in me.  Each day I know we are getting closer to the big day.  Each day I find myself trying to distancing myself from the reality of it. 

I have read the "Army Family Deployment Readiness" booklet he brought home.  I have had to discuss things with my son that no parent ever wants to talk about with their children.  I have done the planning for the big send off party.  What I haven't done yet is figure out how in hell I am going to release my arms from his neck when the day arrives. 

Maybe I can convince myself he is heading off back to his duty station just like last time.  Maybe I can convince myself that he is just down south and that I just can't go see him there for longer than I ever have in the past.  Maybe I can convince myself that he is just in his hanger with all his buddies safe and sound all winter long. 

Ya, maybe. 

I'll let ya know how that goes. 

Sending love and support to you, your family, and your Soldier.
Faith

No Greater Love

I am a big fan of The Pentagon Channel.  Friends and family will sometimes ask me why I watch so many military and news programs. Well this morning program called "No Greater Love" reaffirms why I do.  So many of the programs touch me.  They touch me as a mother, a wife, as an American...as a person. 

This morning I watched a documentary about a couple who enjoyed 67 years of love.  Young people who fell in love prior to WWII.  They both found themselves in the Army.  Spent time apart.  He was injured and spent a year and a half at Walter Reed in rehab. 

All of you are wondering why this simple story would touch me so.  It does so because it reflects so much the story of my own Grandparents.  My maternal grandmother to say the least was everything to me.  If I could become anyone in this life, it would be her that I would pick.  She and my Grandpa fell in love prior to the war beginning.  By the time he joined the Army they had started a family.  So off he went leaving behind his new bride and young son. 

He left one man and came back another.  My Grandpa was wounded in a tank explosion while he was serving as a combat medic.  He suffered severe life threatening burns over his entire face and head.  He was shipped home and spent a great deal of time at Walter Reed and then to another veterans facility in Boston.  He underwent numerous skin grafts.  He had both of his ears remade. 

The story this morning made me stop and really think of just how incredibly hard that must have been for my grandmother as well.  Times were so different than.  There wasn't skype.  There wasn't sending of text messages.  She went a long time before she saw my grandfather once he arrived back in the States.  She didn't know how her husband was going to look or act when they were reunited.  But she loved him.  It didn't matter.  She was home waiting for him and ready to fulfill the commitment they made to each other. 

My Grandpa wouldn't hardly ever ever ever talk about his war memories.  I always knew the scars on his face were minor compared to the scars you could see in his eyes at times.  He was my Grandpa and I loved him as he was.  I can still feel his rough bumpy skin on his cheeks.  I kissed his rough cheeks with as much love as I kissed my Grammie's soft wrinkly ones :)   I always had these great feelings of pride for him.  I knew each scar represented his sacrifice and his commitment to our country. 

So anyway, some ask why I watch The Pentagon Channel....well I ask, "Why do you not?" 

Red Cross Holiday Cards For Heroes

Since my own Soldier will be in the sandbox during this upcoming Holiday Season I have already been given much thought on how I can still make it special for him and his unit while there during that time.  Having them all receive lots and lots of cards will be something that I will work hard to accomplish here in my own local community. 

Below I have copied and pasted the info that comes from the Red Cross on their national campaign for sending holiday cards. 

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Each year the American Red Cross provides assistance to more than 2 million service members and many of our nation’s 24 million veterans. We support military families, military and veterans hospitals and provide emergency communications across the globe. And once a year, we get the joy of delivering holiday cards to veterans, military families and active-duty service members at hospitals and installations around the world.

The cards and personal messages, sent by tens of thousands of Americans, provide a welcome “touch of home” for our troops during the holiday season. 

Each year we collect cards between October and early December and then distribute them at military installations, veterans hospitals, and in other locations.

Throughout the year, you can make a difference with a monetary gift to Help Military Families through the Red Cross. Your donation can help change a military family’s life. Donate Now.

There are several ways to be part of the Holiday Mail for Heroes program. In addition to sending cards on your own, you may want to start making plans to host card signing parties or card making parties. Here are a few guidelines to help you on your way:

Card Guidelines:

Every card received will be screened for hazardous materials by Pitney Bowes and then reviewed by Red Cross volunteers working around the country.

Please observe the following guidelines to ensure a quick reviewing process:

• Ensure that all cards are signed.
• Use generic salutations such as “Dear Service Member.” Cards addressed to specific individuals can not be delivered through this program.
• Only cards are being accepted. Do not send or include letters.
• Do not include email or home addresses on the cards: the program is not meant to foster pen pal relationships.
• Do not include inserts of any kind, including photos: these items will be removed during the reviewing process.
• Please refrain from choosing cards with glitter or using loose glitter as it can aggravate health issues of ill and injured warriors.
• If you are mailing a large quantity of cards, please bundle them and place them in large mailing envelopes or flat rate postal shipping boxes. Each card does not need its own envelope, as envelopes will be removed from all cards before distribution.

All holiday greetings should be addressed and sent to:

Holiday Mail for Heroes
P.O. Box 5456
Capitol Heights, MD 20791-5456

The deadline for having cards to the P.O. Box is Friday, December 7th.
Holiday cards received after this date cannot be guaranteed delivery.

Getting It Done

The days are clicking away.  I finally decided it was time to stop avoiding the obvious...time to make some plans for our Soldiers "going away party."  I decided I didn't like that name though....We are having a Wishing Him Well party instead. 

I had the opportunity to talk to him last night on the phone.  Those calls I cherish especially now since I know they will be few and far between in the coming months.  We talk about silly crazy things one minute and then get on a serious subject and then back to a trivial point.  I enjoy that with him.  He and I have always just gabbed and talked about everything and anything.  One of the things that I hope doesn't change. 

In my own personal life I have struggled with "avoidance".  When things get stressful or I feel overwhelmed, I tend to shut down and avoid everything and anything that I can.  I am finding that I am leaning towards that tendency right now.  I know I need to fight it, but I don't always do the things that I know I should do :)  Who does, right?

I always get done what I need to though.  I know my own defense mechanisms and I know how to tell em enough is enough.  One part of avoiding things is this blog even.  This sorta surprises me some though.  I so enjoy the contacts I have made from this blog, but my mind totally relates the blog to his deployment.  I created the blog when I found out about the upcoming deployment.  Sorta strange that something I started doing to find strength has now been part of what adds to the overwhelming feelings. 

As usual, thank you for reading my rants and my posts.  Not sure any of this one makes sense, but it is my minds ramblins' of the afternoon.  I hope you, your family, and your Soldier are all doing well. 

Love and support always,
Faith

A New Month

It has been a week since I posted a blog post.  Ugh, sorry.  I did it knowingly.  I did it stupidly thinking that if I avoided the blog that October and the initial reason I started this blog may not happen.  Guess what?  October is here anyway.  So much for that reasoning.  It made much more sense a week ago (hahaha).

I really want him home for his upcoming visit, I really do.  What I don't want is for him to leave from this upcoming visit.  Phew, having October come around surely made that reality a reality though.  

So I am back.  My staying away plan didn't amount to crap :)  This month is here and I will do the best to get thru this one and all the upcoming ones.  They will all be easier with the support that comes from all fellow Army Mom's.  

Sending love and support to you, your family, and your Soldier
Faith

October is breast cancer awareness month and I share this image in honor of a special friend of our family who we lost much too early to cancer.  

She and her family helped shape our Soldier when he was a young little boy by being his day-care provider.