It Is Real

My phone rang in the early hours of the morning today.  4am.  On the other end of a muffled noisy line was my Soldier :)   It ranked up there as being as awesome as his first call home while at boot camp.  I had been able to sort of follow him the last few days via his buddies on Facebook, but having contact directly from him was a super sweet deal.

The call was brief.  It confirmed that an odd feeling I had been having all day was right.  I told my husband that I felt during the day that our son was traveling again.  All day I had this nagging tug in me that was saying "he is on the move".  I just knew it.  I don't know how, but I did.  When he called he confirmed that they in deed moved from the Mana's Transit Center to their current location in Afghanistan.  He still isn't at his final destination, but he is now in Afghanistan. 

Wow.  Yup, he is now in Afghanistan.  That is all I could think of when I hung up.  Thought of it enough so that it made me feel sick.  There really are no words to describe the sinking feeling that a Mother feels when it is confirmed that her baby is in a war zone.  It is real.

His day to day care is out of my hands.  It has been for several years.  I have come to know this and I have come to accept it.  To this point I have known that his day to day care was in his own hands.  He has gotten himself up, he has done his own laundry, he has been responsible for his own actions during each day.  I don't pretend to be a die hard bible thumping Christian.  But I do know that from the moment I hung up the phone until the moment I wrap my arms around him again...I will find comfort in knowing that his day to day care is in the hands of God.  I am consumed with thoughts of not really caring if his clothes are clean or if he is brushing his teeth...I just want him to arrive home, safe and sound as soon as we can have him back.  :)

He has a duty and a mission to do.  It is a real mission and he takes all of it very serious.  I don't wish him to come back home today...that wouldn't accomplish his mission that he is ready and set to do.  I am okay with him there doing his job.  I am okay with him there alongside his battle buddies looking out for each other as they accomplish their duties.  I am okay with relying on Facebook, an occasional phone call, some Skype, and maybe a hand written letter from him every now and then. 

It is real.  We will get thru each day as it comes.  I will do it the best way I can. 
As always, I am sending love and support to you, your family and your Soldiers. 
Love, Faith