I have to admit that I have been known to be a tad obsessive with my children. I prefer to call myself engaged with my children and any and all activities they have been involved with. I treated boot camp as no different. Before he even left I had learned all the A Alpha, B Bravo, C Charlie alphabet. I had tried my best to learn all the ranks with him. I did what I had always done with things in the past that I didn't know about...I read a book, I researched online, and I did all I could to prepare myself to be an active participating Army Mom.
Facebook is what got me through boot camp. I must have said a million times that I couldn't imagine how my grandmother sent her 2 son's off to the Army back in the 60's with no Facebook! Jake arrived at Fort Jackson on June 30th and was assigned to the 1/61st group of Roadrunners! Before he even landed there that afternoon I had found several facebook pages for families of soldiers in training. The support and information on the 1/61st facebook page was incredible. It made me feel like I had a connection still. Messaging with other parents who were feeling all the same things that my husband and I were was so helpful to us. Even without hearing from him we knew what group he was assigned to and support from them was right at our fingertips. Thank you Tina!
Trying to stay busy during those first few weeks proved to be actually a hard thing. Every time we would mention about going somewhere one of us would say, "What if he calls today though?" and we would end up staying home, sitting and waiting. By the third Sunday of his departure we were determined to get out on our motorcycle and start enjoying the summer that was quickly disappearing on us. Well don't you know that was when THE CALL came! So there we were riding along Route 1 in Maine with the phone in my hand and it starts ringing and vibrating. I start hitting my husband in the kidneys telling him to pull over pull over! It was our Jake! I asked him at least 200 questions in 2 minutes...are you sleeping, are you eating, do you have friends, who does your laundry, are they being mean? All the important things to us mothers. I left the questions about training, guns and drill sgt's to his father. Hearing his voice and his excitement that day changed it all for me. I could tell in his voice that he was happy with his decision....ya he was tired and he being worked liked crazy, but he was happy. As a mom there isn't anything else to worry about after that. (well ok, there is...but you know what I mean)
Getting through RED PHASE was the toughest weeks. Once the mail started to flow on a regular basis it seemed so much easier having him gone. I hadn't ever had my son write letters to me. This was something new. I could hear and feel him in his letters. The changes I could tell that was happening inside of him was so obvious on paper. My husband and I treasure each and every one of those letters. A tip for sending letters....have your soldier and you number them all as you mail the letters. They don't always arrive in order of how they were sent out.
Those first few weeks seem so long ago now. At the time I thought they were the worst ever...how silly was that!? It was during those weeks that he had someone watching his every move, making sure he was in bed at a certain time, and making sure he was eating when they told him to eat. Here I was doing all that worrying back then for nothing. A mother worrying isn't for nothing though...it is for her children and it is from love. I wouldn't ever want to stop worrying.
I would love to hear from you about how long it took for you to hear from your Soldier. How did you keep busy during that time? What tips can you offer to those who are just going through it? I will be sharing a few sites that all new Army Parents should check out later today. If you have others, please send them my way.
Sending lots of love and support to you, your family and your Soldier!
Faith
Stirring those emotions from two years ago, bringing tears to my eyes. I was so grateful for the roadrunner facebook page and the new friends I made, ha the new family that has developed. Although I think I cried more during basic training than I have during Ricky's deployment. The updates and photos were a Godsend. But what I remember and value the most was the insider information I got from my new friend and her recruit son. Having a friend that understands what you are going through makes all the difference.
ReplyDeleteLove you Faith :-)
Thank you so much Rekni! I know that I made friends and connections during those 10 weeks that I will have for life now :) and I am so happy that you are one of them! Love you too!
ReplyDeleteFaith
Faith, your story literally moved me to tears, as all of those feelings of Emily leaving for BCT came back to me. It was the longest and hardest 9 weeks of my life when she left. I remember the day we said goodbye to her, as she was leaving for what we thought was Ft LeanordWood. I was a basket case that day and for many days following that. We then got a call from her at the airport saying she was going to Ft Jackson instead! I was so upset, I had spent hrs on the computer researching Ft Leanord Wood, and I didnt know a thing about Ft Jackson! So back to the computer I went. Lol
DeleteLike yourself, I tend to be on the obsessive side of parenting. For 17 yrs, I had revolved my life around my kids. My main concern and obsession was keeping them safe. Out of drugs, bad relationships, being bullied, etc etc. I obsessed about keeping them safe. Now, Emily was gone and I felt totally overwhelmed and helpless, afraid for her and her well being. Would she get enough to eat, What if she became ill, would she be lonely, depressed, miserable, etc etc.
I cannot even describe accurately the weeks that followed her leaving. My family and friends tried to be supportive, to be understanding, but deep in my heart I was resentful and angry toward them. (makes no sense, I know) They had sent their kids off to college, they were getting phone calls every night, they were getting weekend visits. I was NOT. They had NO idea what I was going through!
And then, I found my salvation. Facebook Ft Jackson, Regulators Unit! I spent hours on this site, as well as the Facebook Army Mom site. Finally, I could communicate with people who truly understood what it is like to send your child off to become a soldier. They were going through it the same time I was! (including you, Faith and Rekni). I wasnt being an obsessive mother after all. These parents felt the same way I did! It was great. I was on the computer for hours at a time, first thing when I woke up, first thing I did when I got home from work, last thing I did before I went to bed. These STRANGERS were my lifeline, my support system, and for that I am very grateful.. I DONT know how military moms survived pre-computer days! lol.
Like yourself, Faith, I did imprison myself in my home to an extent. I did not want to miss that phone call, that letter, that facebook post. I poured over the Facebook Pics from her unit hoping to get any glimpse of her body at all. I had to know she was safe, that she was even alive! (silly, isnt it? Im sure the military would have notified me if something happened) And I was very fortunate that I saw her in a few pictures. I was ecstatic! I printed the pictures out and kept them in view every day. We received 3 phone calls the whole time she was gone. And it was these phone calls that gave me a gradual sense of relief and put the rational back in my brain. The transformation from child to adult was obvious in her voice. All of a sudden her dad was "sir". All of a sudden I heard manners and a respectful tone coming out of my daughter that I never knew existed. To understate, Emily was always a bit, shall we say, mouthy as a teenager. My brain began to rationalize exactly what the Army was doing for her. They were doing to her in 9 weeks, what I couldnt accomplish in her 17 yrs! I came to the realization that she grew up in those few weeks, she was no longer under my thumb. The military owned her, and that was okay, because she was safe there.
Anyway, to wrap this up, Sending your child to BCT is a very quick way to master the "empty nest syndrome". When kids go off to college, their parents are eased into letting them become adults gradually. When kids go off to BCT and the military, there is no gradual letting go at all! It is quick and hard! Emily has gone through some very difficult and trying times being in the military, and unfortunately has to get out due to medical issues. But the time she has spent in the army has given her young self a world of life lessons and responsibility. I wouldnt change it for the world.
Hello!
ReplyDeleteI never would have thought that a night of insomnia could bring with it: peace of mind, comfort & a blessing....until just now! No longer counting down the days, but just mere hours, until my first born leaves MEPS for boot camp in the Army, I am overwhelmed with separation anxiety, fear, grief, worry, concern & yes, Pride, I feel the clock in my heart ticking faster & faster. Hoping & praying that arming myself with research & education, would bring ANY AMOUNT of peace of mind, and a better understanding of what to expect, I set out hours ago to find anything and everything that I could. By the grace of God,I found your page/Blog! Having said that....THANK YOU! Thank you for posting & sharing all that you have here! At this stage in my journey to becoming an Army Mom, all of the overwhelming feelings aside, I keep thinking to myself..how in the world will I know exactly where he is?? While I know which base he will be at for training, when & how will I find out exactly where to send his letters? Just like you said, my son has never sent me letters....will I need to wait to receive a letter from him to know exactly where to send letters to him? If this is the case, I fear I may be waiting quite some time! My goal is to send him letters several times a week & honestly, would start now if it were possible! (I too have been known to be a tad obsessed with my children, but much prefer your way of saying it...enagaged!) :) I am going to be checking all of the links you have posted & hope you know how truly appreciated they are! Thank you!
Sincerely,
Andrea
Hi So happy to read this. I am now a mom whose son has enlisted in the army leaving for bootcamp sooner than I am ready for!
ReplyDeleteI know this will be good for him and I am very proud of his decision!
How do I locate the facebook page where my son will be?
That's what I want to know as well! That would make things much easier on us, lol.
DeleteMy son will be leaving for basic training Oct 23. He gave me the "Proud parent" bumper sticker last night and haven't been able to stop crying since. I know he is going to love it, but its hard to not worry for him. So glad I'm not the only mama out there with these feelings.
ReplyDeleteOh my gosh! My daughter leaves October 23rd as well! I am terrified and can't stop crying (well I stop crying around her and try and stay strong). She signed up to be a combat medic. This blog definitely helped. I've been researching like crazy...
DeleteCan someone PLEASE post how to locate the FaceBook page you are referring to??
ReplyDeleteI am also looking for the Facebook page, my son leaves out June 2018 for basic
ReplyDeleteOur journey starts today. My son leaves for Ft. Henning this afternoon
ReplyDeleteFt Benning
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