Army Mom Dreams

Woke up feeling out of sorts and my thoughts remain that way several hours later.  Upon waking up this morning I recalled my night of sleep and dreaming.  I kept waking up every few hours and each time I was remembering having the same lingering dream sequence all night long.  

Through out the night I had a long dream of being on a cruise ship type setting, but yet I could see land not very far away.  The boat was full of people but the only person I remember knowing on the boat was my Soldier son Jake.  

I have lived in Maine all my live to this point, but I have always had a deep rooted fear of tornado's.  Where it comes from?  I have no idea, but I remember being deathly afraid of tornado's since being a very little girl.  Maybe I can blame the Wizard of Oz!?  I have never been anywhere near one, but the thought of one scares me right in to a tizzy.  The evening that Jake graduated from High School our area received strong fierce thunderstorms and we were put in a tornado watch.  Well, let me tell ya I freaked!  I left for the graduation alone and very early so that I could be safely inside the gym.  My husband and oldest son had a good time teasing me....but I can't help it....our fears, regardless of what they are, are very real and scary.  

So anyway, back to my dream.  While Jake and I were sitting enjoying the sunshine and tropical feel of the cruise ship we kept being interrupted with warnings of tornado's.  Each time he and I would see one of the spout type funnels forming we would get up and run deep inside the boat to safety.  One of the weird things, we were the only ones who did!  Everyone else stayed there and just sat through the tornado on the deck of the boat.  Jake and I did this same pattern back and forth several times that I remember during the night.  I couldn't shake the dream and I couldn't shake the feeling of fear.  

I would like to laugh it off and make fun of it, but I can't.  The dream expressed a couple of my biggest fears.  I know with having each day tick away to his deployment my inner thoughts are building up my fear.  A tornado and having my son in danger rolled into one dream left me feeling very antsy.  The tornado's in my dream didn't represent a real tornado.  They represented my real fears that I have for all of our Soldiers as they do the jobs they are trained to do.  

Fear can be a very crippling thing in our lives.  Facing and over coming what we fear builds great character and courage.  I certainly do not plan on living every day with great fear for Jake's safety or that of an impending tornado, but it is always okay to be aware of what we fear and respect the feelings that it brings up in us.   Today I am acknowledging mine and also remembering that in the end...we were safe...we both found protection from the tornado's...we came out of it just fine.

Sending you, your family, and your Soldier lots of love and support!
Faith