Okay, first off, I have admitted in at least 2 other posts that I may be a bit, as I call it, engaged, with my boys lives. Obsessive just sounds like something medically wrong...and being a loving caring mother can't be wrong. Second, these are days of great turmoil in the Middle East and are causing us Army Mom's to freak just a bit.
It isn't that I am trying to justify my worries. Well, okay, maybe I am. But do I have to?
We had anticipated call from Jake on Thursday night to his father. I had the pleasure of a really nice conversation with him the night before but his Dad wasn't home. Thursday came and went. Friday came and went. Saturday afternoon we got a message via Facebook saying his phone was broke. Super Mom to the rescue. I dropped everything I was doing and got on the phone with my cell phone carrier to make the problem right. I knew he had kept an old phone and all we needed was for them to turn that phone back on....easy enough...problem solved. Well course not. Because he is so far away from any of their towers they needed to have him call and walk him thru manually programming the other old phone to work. I sent him back all the info that he would need when he called in. I know my Jake. He doesn't go anywhere without his phone and he doesn't go to long or to far from his lap top, so I assumed he would get the info, call and take care of it fairly soon after I sent it to him. Well course not.
He didn't respond to my messages. I was pretty sure he hadn't logged online either. It wasn't until Monday mid-morning that I get a text from him saying that he hated his old phone! Ya well at that moment I coulda rung his neck! I didn't care that he hated his old phone, I wanted to ground him for not getting back with me for two days! Pretty sure I can't do that anymore though...not even sure I successfully did it before he joined the Army either :(
I spent the last two nights worrying and creating the most outrageous reasons for why he hadn't called in yet. Why do we do that? Why do I do that? Why do I automatically assume that he is wounded on the side of the road screaming out to his mother for help every time I don't hear from him? Why don't I assume he is out having fun with his buddies? (which is exactly what he was doing by the way)
This morning I sat and really gave thought to why I over inflated my worries this weekend. I believe it wasn't the fact that I hadn't heard from him in 2 days. I know it was my mind working on over time "pre-worrying" about his upcoming deployment. I was told on Wednesday (the night I talked to him) by his FRG that Wi-Fi and contact may be minimal when he arrives at his destination. That has weighed on my mind ever since. Obviously huh!!??
I wish I could promise to not over react again. I wish I could promise not to worry or stress. I can't, because I would be lying. What I can promise to do though is to always remember that anything that I have worried and stressed about has NEVER ever been any where near as bad as I had imagined in my mind. I will work on the other 2 though...but I can't promise big changes anytime to come right away. <3
Hoping you all had a good weekend and are in the middle of an even better Monday!
Faith
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